Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
On a regular basis, you will be presented with choices in life. Some are simple, and others more of a struggle.
Sometimes, you know exactly how you want to answer, but something — guilt, pressure — whatever, causes you to answer a different way.
You might be avoiding controversy or an argument with another person. But in order to live life to the fullest and enjoy personal satisfaction, you want to know how to say yes to things you want and no to those you don’t.
That’s what Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have set out to do in their book called Boundaries. It’s specifically written for people who feel, to some degree, that they’ve lost control in their lives.
They find themselves agreeing to everyone else’s demands and requests, and have very little time or space for themselves. These individuals often take it upon themselves to make everyone else feel better, so they set aside their own wants and needs to accommodate others.
Sometimes it’s done out of love for the other person. You want them to enjoy life so much that you take on the burden of their needs. But what you have to keep in mind is that there is a limit to your energy, your patience, your money, and your time.
It’s not selfish to want to protect your emotional, financial and physical health. In fact, you can’t be good for other people, like your spouse, children or boss, if you’re not engaging in self care.
And self care includes setting boundaries with others so that you don’t go through every day feeling stressed, overworked, and more. Just because you set boundaries with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them.
It only means you also love yourself. You have to learn what fair boundaries are, where you get treated with respect. And if the other person is hurt or angered by your boundaries, it can open up a discussion as to why they feel that way, without you taking responsibility for their feelings.
You’ll learn, in the book Boundaries, how to answer whenever someone asks for your time, money, space or energy. You’ll be able to do it guilt-free and feel good about your decision.
If you’ve been feeling like a doormat in life, where everyone has a piece of your time, but you, then you’ll love the way Boundaries helps you overcome that emotion and begin living life on your own terms.
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